Divorce: Are You The Better Parent?

In most divorce proceedings, child-related matters are among the most emotionally charged and frequently contested issues. While parents may agree on financial division or property, disputes often arise over custody, care and control, access arrangements, education, and relocation. These matters directly affect the child’s future and emotional wellbeing, which is why the courts treat them with heightened sensitivity and scrutiny. Even when both parents want what is best for the child, differing views on what that looks like can lead to conflict.

In such cases, the court steps in to evaluate each parent’s position based on the child’s best interests, supported by evidence, expert reports, and practical caregiving arrangements.

What the Court Considers When Deciding Who Should Be the Primary Caregiver

When it comes to child custody, the court’s main priority is the child’s best interests. Here’s what judges typically focus on when determining who should be the primary caregiver.

1. Track Record of Care and Involvement

The court looks at who has consistently cared for the child. Have you attended medical appointments, handled school matters, or adjusted your work for childcare? These day-to-day actions matter.

2. Emotional Bond with the Child

The strength of each parent’s connection with the child is a key consideration. Courts ask: who has been emotionally present, especially during the child’s early years?

3. Plans for Future Care

Courts want to see a stable plan. Where will the child live? How will their schooling, health, and emotional needs be managed? Thoughtful, structured plans show preparedness.

4. Willingness to Encourage Co-Parenting

A parent who supports the child’s relationship with the other parent demonstrates maturity. Courts favour those who place the child’s emotional well-being above personal conflict.

5. Listening to the Child (When Appropriate)

If a child is old enough to express a mature opinion, the court may consider their wishes—though younger children are generally not asked to choose.

Behaviours That Could Undermine a Parent’s Case

While courts focus on the positives, certain actions or patterns may count against a parent.

Risky Lifestyles or Poor Judgment

If a parent’s lifestyle suggests instability or poor decision-making, the court may question their suitability as the primary caregiver.

Disruptive or Harmful Conduct

Is one parent constantly changing the child’s environment, restricting access to the other parent, or creating emotional instability? Such actions raise serious concerns.

Stability Matters: What Courts Like to See

Courts favour arrangements that minimise disruption and maintain familiarity in a child’s life.

Keeping the Child’s Environment Consistent

Continuity in home, school, and community gives the child stability. Courts often prefer plans that allow the child to stay in familiar surroundings.

Keeping Siblings Together

Separating siblings is rarely in the child’s best interest. Courts usually aim to maintain sibling bonds.

Factors that do not undermine your rights to having care and control

Some factors carry little or no weight unless they directly affect the child.

• Gender of parent and child

• Minor personality traits or disorders, unless they interfere with parenting

• Wealth or status

At Derrick Soh Law Corporation, we are committed to walking with you through the complexities of custody disputes.